Lady Gaga bulks up on ‘liquid diet’—close to fighting shape or liver failure?

We thought Gaga was one of the brighter Pop stars, but it’s become clear that she’s simply a worker among workers, which is a beautiful thing (in ALL other career fields). You see, Gaga seems to have taken the term ‘liquid diet’ to heart. It’s been rumored that she parties pretty hard and confirmed by Mother Monster herself: “I like to drink Whiskey and stuff while I work”…adding…“I follow the drunk diet I live my life as I want to.”

This thought-provoking philosophy came into focus when Gaga hit the stage for a concert in Amsterdam on Monday—30 pounds heavier.

As any college frat boy can tell you, alcohol has a certain bloating factor. Nutritionist, Majid Ali, confirms the collegiate findings with this medical jargon: “Alcohol sugars can only be stored as fats. Where as most sugars can be used as fuel and whatever is left over is stored.”

Gaga—proving to be just the average Pop singer—noticed the bloat and has vowed to begin a ‘Gluten Free Diet.’ Only problem with this solution is…its COMPLETELY ASININE….or in our nutritionist’s words: “Gluten-free diets are for people who have allergies to gluten—not for weight loss. They do not give people more energy. Energy comes from eating a well-balanced diet, drinking plenty of water, eliminating non-nutritive sources of calories (cough…whiskey!) and working out regularly and vigorously.”

Uh oh…maybe Gaga shouldn’t read this… Earlier this year she got a lot of backlash for being ‘too skinny,’ especially after she fired off this alarming After School Special tweet: “Just killed in back-to-back spin classes. Eating a salad dreaming of a cheeseburger. Pop singers don’t eat. I was born this way.”

Are we starting to see why Gaga and Lindsay Lohan became BFFs? They are probably the only ones who can understand the strange words coming out of the other’s mouth.