Chelsea Handler welcomes “Emcee Gwyneth Paltrow and Deejay Jazzy Cameron Diaz” (RAP VIDEO)

Hip hop just got a makeover—complete with an oil massage and lip filler. For whatever reason, Cameron Diaz and GOOP decided the best way to celebrate pal, Chelsea Handler, moving to a new studio (who cares?) was to send her a silly and slightly naughty rhyme.

It is quite possibly the first time anyone’s rapped in her tennis whites. Plus, Gwyneth Paltrow’s tough-guy rapper glare doesn’t work as well with Botox—she looks more spooked than scary.

Cameron Diaz actually does a mean a$$ beat box, but her extra-long modeling legs seem a little out of place; like she may either kick you or jump through the screen in search of a lily pad.

Let us break it down for you:

Yo, Chelsea. We heard that you got a brand new studio.
But we know that you got on TV by being a ho.

You like black guys, white guys, whoever’s around.
Your bedroom looks like it’s a lost and found.

We kinda like you because you’re blonde like us.
But we can’t hang wit’ you in public ’cause you drink too much!