Tori Spelling gets plastered at a wedding and has some “mom on mom action”

Apparently if you drink like a fish and act like an animal, it’s all good, so long as you’re a mother. Tori Spelling posted a new story on her blog titled “Moms Gone Wild” and describes in detail the insanely drunk time she had a recent wedding…or what she can recall, anyway.

She says it best herself—she started out looking “chic and composed” and by the end of the night she was a hot mess. To sum up, Tori got wasted, kissed a girl, broke $hit and for her grand finale—puked all over the place…ruining her romantic weekend with her hubby.

Tori, the mother-of-four, got a little too excited at the prospect of a weekend away in Santa Barbara, California with just Dean McDermott, to attend a friend’s nuptials. Tori let loose like nobody’s business. She told a friend during post-ceremony drinks that “tonight is going to be epic.”

Tori reveals in the post that she continued to down glasses of red wine during dinner, and after checking in with the kids (we’d love to hear a recording of that call), decided to cut a rug.

“Not gonna lie, the rest of the night is a blur. Key points I remember…Bustling Jess’s dress so she could dance gangnam style on the dance floor with me, gossiping in a corner with a bunch of gals using phrases like ‘cray cray’ and ‘shut the hell up!’, smashing a floral arrangement in the middle of the dance floor just for the hell of it, lip locking with a fellow mom who never gets out and screaming, ‘Look! It’s mom on mom action’, and finally, leaving the wedding hanging on to Jess’s mom while sobbing that I love her daughter sooooooooo much.”

But all good things must come to an end…

“I puked. Not like politely kneeling and vomiting at the commode after feeling a tad queasy. I mean gut wrenching chunks everywhere. Poor Dean. He didn’t get his romantic night, but damn I had fun.

The next morning I felt absolutely horrible, and combing dried red wine colored puke from my hair in the shower was a low point. But, sitting in that shower I had a realization. Well two realizations. One, I would never drink that much again. And, two, that I was proud of myself for letting go and allowing myself one night of debauchery.”

Tori please be careful! It is too difficult for us to hear about you getting so out of control and using words like ‘epic,’ ‘cray-cray’ and ‘shut the hell up.’